what kicks u in the face everyday?

In my first year of college...

I've lost..

1. my 2 bestfriends, formerly known as 'the triangle'
2. trust in people, it used to be 'trust someone until they give u a reason not to', now it's 'u dont have my trust till u earn it'
3. a countless number of friends that moved and we couldn't keep touch
4. that one person each person is supposed to have whom they tell everything to, and vice versa
5. my belief in 'the one', my naive self
6. my ability to write poetry like i used to

I've gained..

1. a more optimistic view on life
2. confidence in myself, higher self-esteem
3. a "no expectations=no disappointments" attitude, even though sometimes i do get my hopes up when i shouldn't
4. a closeness with family members that wasn't there before
5. 2 neices that are well on the way in 3 more months

The good comes with the bad and i got plenty more years to go, with much learning to gain. One thing i hoped i'd lose is geniunely caring too much about people even though they don't about me..but i guess there's some things u can never change, no matter how hard u try. I can't be mean intentionally, and thats just the way it is. I feel so happy when people come to me with their problems, but lately i feel like i keep things bottled inside and so do others. I guess it's all a trust issue, i've been hurt alot this past year and it has affected me in some good ways-making me stronger, but it also has made alot of scars permanent..

Anyway, summer school starts tomorrow, and i'm somewhat happy i'll be more busy. I'm getting a job hopefully by next week. thank god.

love,

Ri

GO MAVS!!

sorry, had to get that out of my system!

what happened to xanga? i remember 2 years ago when everyone had a xanga and it was cool cuz everyone commented. now everyone is into the 15 year old emo-ville that is myspace..pssh i'll stick to my xanga. and facebook. i don't need anymore things to be addicted to. haha

holy shit has anyone heard Miss Murder by AFI? i know at least one person who is a die hard AFI fan..lol it's damn good.. u should listen.

summer school in approx. 2 weeks. i need to go get my books. ughh.

hmm..i like this song, i couldn't find the real version, so this is the live version..

sometimes i feel like i'm always on an emotional roller coaster. one moment i'm perfectly content and the other i'm just BLAH. i dont know how to explain it, but it sucks.

on a lighter note, i went to this waterfall thingy by school today that my friend was showing me, and we found baby duckies!! awe they were so cute..we saved one that was out of the water and running around the grass, we named her Ri. cuz she runs..haha

God i miss you.

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
What do you do with the left over you?
And how do you know, when to let go?
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen

It's love that leaves that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real happy and healthy, strong and calm
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?

Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows?
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down?
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down?
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?

Top songs on my nano right now:

1. The adventure by Angels and Airwaves(Tom Delounge's new band)
2. Makedamnsure by Taking Back Sunday
3. Gimme that by Chris Brown
4. Where does the good go by tegan and sara(if you're a grey's anatomy fan, u'll like it)
5. What's left of me by Nick Lachey

</3 summer is nothing if its not anywhere but here...</3

you dont want the nice guy who wants to be there for you; you dont want the one who dreams of you and loves everything about you; you dont want someone who'd drop everything for you. no.

you want the jerk who treats you like you're nothing; you want the one that leads you on and then tells you you're not what he wants; you want the adventure, you want the chase, and you just always wanna be in the race.

but guess what? you set yourself up for a heartbreak.

when you're over this phase and done running after the bad boy, and end up with the sweet guy who treats you right, you know you have matured.

umm..ya.

new piercing. (if u can't see in the pic)

ain't it hot?

there are SOO many birthdays in May!

you're just the one sickness i wish i can get over with a pill of apathy.